On Burnout and Hyper-Productivity
Oops, I did it again.
As with many things in life, sometimes you’re aware something is happening but still fail to deal with it in a way you deem logical. For example: You know you’re experiencing massive burnout, and instead of taking a step back to recover from it, you decide it’s the perfect time to launch a bi-weekly newsletter about said burnout. Just me? Oh…
Many hyper-productive people I know fall into the same trap. They feel like they’re failing unless they’re creating or building. This is especially true about those who also surround themselves with like-minded people who tell them they have to be equally productive—or make them bad for not meeting their productivity standards. Of course, there are many other factors that lead people to believe that unless they’re five steps ahead they’re ten steps behind, but ultimately those reasons don’t matter when you find yourself crying on an isolated beach because your soul is tired.
I found myself in that exact scenario shortly after I started “Leaning Out.” Although I was so much happier than I had been in New York and excited for the future, all the accumulated stress, pressure, and heartbreak hadn’t yet left the cracks of my soul. I felt alone despite being surrounded by love, defeated by life despite having accomplished so much, overwhelmed by even the smallest of tasks, drained most of the time but masking it in an attempt to prevent spiraling. While my body finally had time to exhale, all the hurt I had pushed down found space to come out.
My knee-jerk reaction was to channel it into creating something I felt passionate about—a newsletter to help others navigate the rocky waters of burnout. I felt purpose for the first time in years and wanted to hit the ground running. But my body wasn’t ready. My soul wasn’t ready.
So, I took a step back from “Leaning Out.” As ironic as it sounds, sometimes that’s what progress looks like. True burnout is not cured with a week-long vacation—it takes months, even years to truly recover.
Avoidance was sabotaging my ability to recover—I knew I had to put aside quantifiable productivity and turn inward if I wanted a shot at feeling peace. So, I made a list of things that made me happy and how I wanted to feel. Unlike all the to-do lists I’d made in my life, this one wasn’t designed to make me feel accountable toward completing a task, but rather as a guide I’d hope lead me back to feeling like myself.
I picked up running again. I went on a solo trip and spent a lot of time in silence listening to my thoughts uninterrupted. I spent weeks staying with my best friends to feel surrounded by support, laughter, and understanding. I allowed myself to be lazy without remorse if that’s what I so pleased. I let myself fall in love again, both with myself and someone else.
There’s a beautiful quote from the book called “The Practice of Groundedness” by Brad Stulberg that reads as follows: “To put up a wall around your heart, a barrier between the deepest parts of you and the world. Perhaps the hurt isn’t as intense this way. But neither are the joys… A full life requires vulnerability.”
Ultimately, what I want out of this life is joy. Don’t we all? I still have work ambitions—I love what I do and want to be successful—but a can-do attitude will only get me so far if I don’t feel well. How can anyone keep giving, keep producing, if getting out of bed is already taking everything out of them? Resting, stepping back, and saying no isn’t just ok, it’s sometimes necessary. I really believe you need to give yourself space for vulnerability and reflection for true healing, and ultimately, growth.
The last months have been game-changing for my mental health. By putting aside everything I thought I should do and prioritizing what feels good, I’ve begun to shed the weight of the past. For the first time, I’ve been doing what I want to do for myself. Now, I can give “Leaning Out” the energy it deserves and feel equipped to do so.
Moving forward, there will be interviews with life coaches, relationship therapists, brand founders, head hunters, yogis, and more where we dive into the many ways realms of burnout. I’m so excited to share the takeaways from these conversations with you all! The goal is to have this newsletter come out bi-weekly, but if it doesn’t, it’s because I stepped away to take care of myself for a moment. And if there’s anything you take away from this post, I hope it inspires you to do the same. Lean out if you have to. I promise it’s worth it.
Trust your instincts! When in doubt, volunteering has always help ground me (& my soul) ❤️ Love you